Consent play is often a very big part of bondage culture, and most bondage dating sites will take the time to make a bondage guide in order to help you through the basics of consent play itself. If you are looking for some interesting bondage tips, visit tiemeupnow.com, where the top sites are compared against each other. These sites focuses on bondage and consent play. That being said, there are certain aspects of consent play that many couples forget to discuss, or simply gloss over when they are eager to get started. One of those things has to do with the aspect of surprise that exists when you’re involved in consent play, and overlooking this can make for a very uncomfortable situation for both you and your partner. Surprise is such a large part of consent play that it’s actually shocking that so many people overlook it, so keep that in mind when the two of you are making your plans.
What Is Surprise Within Consent Play?
The element of surprise is a great part of many consent play fantasies. These aspects include the act of being kidnapped by your partner, or otherwise being snuck up on within your home. Many bondage guides will take the time to go into these sorts of things, but others will simply gloss over them as simply another part of the kink itself. Unfortunately, this can make for a difficult situation. Maybe your partner actually is into the surprise elements of consent play, but you aren’t aware of it. That can make their experience with you in general lackluster, and it can make them less likely to come back and enjoy your company in the bedroom again in the future.
More importantly, if you are into the surprise elements of consent play, but your partner hasn’t discussed that sort of thing with you before, you might end up scaring them badly and immediately triggering them to use their safe word. You should never simply sneak up on your partner and attempt to initiate consent play, unless this is a scenario that the two of you have negotiated in prior conversations. If you do this without their prior agreement, you are severely damaging the relationship of trust that is extremely necessary and usually a vital point in most bondage guides. Trust is your biggest asset when it comes to bondage and the consent play that is involved with it, so never surprise your partner with a scenario that they simply aren’t comfortable with at all.
The Kinds of Surprises within Consent Play
There are many different scenarios that we can suggest you and your partner consider discussing. One of them is very common, and that’s the surprise kidnapping prior to a bondage situation. Many women enjoy the fantasy of being kidnapped and held against their will by a man, and this is a fantasy that the two of you can act out together once you have discussed your boundaries fully. In many situations, it might come off as so realistic that you worry those who surround you, and that’s why you need to be able to plan the actual kidnapping correctly and make sure that no one is going to call the police on you or your partner. Good locations for this include rather deserted road sides where you have agreed to meet, as there will not be anyone around to be concerned about the fully consensual plan the two of you are acting out. If you decide to go full out in your kidnapping scenario, you need to plan out places to leave her car, and also, have a location to go to after the kidnapping itself in order to play out her fantasy of being held captive and in bondage. If you can pull this off, many bondage guides would applaud you for your creativity, that’s for sure.
Another common surprise scenario that you might be asked to act out in consent play is the home invasion scenario. In this scenario, your partner might want to act out her fantasy of someone invading her home and holding her in bondage. This kind of consent play is usually a bit easier to finagle than the kidnapping scenario, since it will be you breaking into her home and coming up behind her to hold her down by force. What she wants out of this scenario from here on is up to her, but many women find it alluring to turn this kind of fantasy into a rape fantasy, and that is why it is extremely important for the two of you to discuss these kinds of fantasies beforehand. You need to both take the time to customize them as she sees fit, and also, iron out any specifics that she definitely doesn’t want to have happen in the duration of her planned scenes.
The Importance of Safe Words in Surprise Consent Play
If you have done any bondage before, then you and your partner are probably very aware of safe words. Even if you aren’t, now is the time to come up with one, because consent play is incredibly unsafe without the use of a safe word. A safe word is a word that your partner can use if she feels as though you are crossing into territory that she doesn’t feel comfortable with. In consent play, the words “stop” and “no” are thrown around quite often, and mean the exact opposite. Remember, it is part of her fantasy to be forced to do things that she doesn’t want to do, and that’s why she will need a safe word if she really does want you to stop.
Every single bondage site on the internet will be insisting that a safe word is paramount, and we can only agree with them. Safe words will make your relationship much more secure – remember, they are there for your submissive partner, not for you. No matter how much you trust one another, there are always occasions where your partner might end up feeling overwhelmed by the situation, and that’s why a safe word will need to be used in order to bring you both back to a scenario that is much more tolerable. It gives you both a chance to breathe, so choose your safe word carefully and make sure it is something she can remember in the heat of the moment. If you’re too effective as a fake kidnapper, there’s a good chance that something might go wrong and make her panic, and that’s exactly what a safe word is for at the end of the day.
There are many different kinds of consent play, and bringing surprises into the fold of it can be an amazing way to augment your already vivid sex life. That being said, you need to always take the correct precautions during your consent play – and prior, especially – so that both you and your partner are entirely comfortable with the situation at hand. Never start a scenario without both of you having ironed out exactly what is okay and acceptable, and never start a scenario without a safe word discussed and in use. These are the kinds of things that will make your sex life that much more exciting, and really make her fantasies come to life without any hitches along the way. You will both be happier and healthier for sure.